Speaking about death is difficult period. Speaking about death when you know it is coming is even harder. During my first years with cancer I was moved by faith and hope. Even though I was ill, I didn’t see the end for me. Now is much harder to walk by hope. My cancer has advanced so much and it makes me feel like I am running out of time. I believe in the love of Jesus and I know that He is the one carrying me through this time. Obviously, I pray for many more years to be here for my kids, but I have been focusing so much in what is going to happen when I am gone that I forget to trust that God will take care of everything, just as He has taken care of me all of my life. Rather than fear for my inability to control what is out of my hands I want to fix my eyes in the peace that I have found when my focus is Jesus. I don’t want to die now, I still want to do so much with my kids, but I know that for those who believe in Christ there is something amazing waiting for us. I want to put my hope in the solid rock of Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I want to lean on His promises. I want to live prepared to be with Jesus because I know there is a place in heaven with my name.